Life Lately


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This topic is a dicey one but I will chip in my two cents nonetheless.

Being in a girls’ only secondary made me experience a lot of things. The first secondary school I attended exposed me to know what a clique was. I just didn’t understand why I had to roll with a certain number of girls. In fact, my class was considered the best class (big girls, rich kids, and brain) with about 2 hot cliques. I later left the school.

I remember when I gained admission into my second school, I just wasn’t liked by a group of girls. I later realized they were a clique too. Ki lo de? I just couldn’t fit into any of that. Somehow, the environment categorized me with a group of other girls.

In a clique, I found there was a boss, the neutral one (I was mostly the one), the pretender and the servant. Don’t get me wrong. Cliques are not bad but the values they stand for is what I look at. The sad thing is a lot of (especially ladies) still live that ‘clique’ life.

On graduating, I connected with mature minds and I figured there was a word called Circle. It is usually a very small group of people who give and receive from each other mostly with a strong network and sound mind. These set of people look out for each other. Whatever happens in the circle stays in the circle. There are lots of virtues to learn in a good circle. I also saw loyalty and even the ability to settle frictions amongst people in a circle.

Oh, don’t think it is a life of pretense. It just makes you a better person because you have to prove that you are worthy of staying in that circle. There are no rules except that every circle (knowingly or unknowingly thrives by a code).

Yes, we have bad circles. They exist. There must be a balance.


A lot of us (especially women) still have traits of the clique life. Gossip, fights, envy, low self-esteem, back-biting, etc. You are also working hard and you want to get into a circle but these things won’t let you.

You talk about someone in a trashy way. You gossip. You always feel like you are in a battle with someone or another circle. You try to get close to someone in order to spy. These things won’t help you and they are very easy to figure out.

No matter how small a circle is. There is always a larger circle. So, when you mess up in a small circle (especially at the beginning), be rest assured that you won’t perceive the bigger circle. It is important that you remain genuinely interested in people and help people. Be intentional.

Some of us are in great circles but don’t even know it. We only need to build and make it strong. We aim for those big ones but they are too tight to let just anyone in.

Some people may say “Must I be in a circle?’

No. You mustn’t but get prepared to be a loner. This is life and not a secondary school where I played neutral. In life, You must prove what you stand for. Also, being a certain kind of circle can help you achieve things faster and better. It is a question of who is in your circle and who knows who?

Even Jesus had the 12 disciples in his circle.

I have seen it happen first hand. I have experienced it. One phone call, One referee and it is done. It is left for you to go forth and fall no body’s hand.

So, my point here is that you ditch the secondary school or university mentality of having a clique that has a funny code.

If there is someone who stands for what you believe in. Work your way to their mind. It won’t be easy at all. But serve your way into their mind and circle.

Before you do that, ensure that you have assessed yourself thoroughly so that you don’t go and disgrace your ancestors o. You don’t want to be the poison in the room.

Ensure you also develop yourself and grow your network so you too can contribute when the need arises. You don’t want to be known for being ‘the great receiver who never gives’.

Like I said, this isn’t a rule to put you in a box. Consider it a formula to get to the next phase.

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Hey She-boss! I am Joy (Ollie) and I am glad to have you here. I am a God lover who is dedicated to inspiring young creative women and living a fulfilled life. I hope you find my posts useful and don't forget to subscribe for more awesomeness! Thank you for reading!!!❤️

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